One-shots and Challenges
by The Fiery Blaze of the Sun
Summary: I had too many of these lying about, so I grouped them all together. Read, have a laugh, and review. Made for your enjoyment. You can return the favour by R&R-ing!
1. Random One-shot

**Okay, here goes with this Random one-shot! I have no idea what I wrote, it came down as I put it.**

Jayfeather was sleeping again. Dumb him. He was snoring so loud that the whole clan woke up, shouted at him, and went back to sleep again. Well, except for Cloudtail, who was hungry. Duh.

Anyway, Amberpaw and Finchpaw crept in Mr Feathery Jay's den of awesomeness (AKA the medicine cat den) and stole some , catmint and Jayfeather's rabbit that he had stolen and kept all of it for himself. Greedy him.

Finchpaw ate the rabbit in one bite, and burped so loudly that the whole clan woke up, shouted at him, and went back to sleep again. Well, exept for you-know-who, because guess what, he was hungry.

So Amberpaw looked at Finchpaw, then at Finchpaw's now massive tummy, then at the catmint, then at Finchpaw, then at Finchpaw's massive tummy, then at the catmint, then at Finchpaw, then at his tummy, then at the catmint, then at Finchpaw, then at his tummy, then at the catmint and then at Finchpaw, and then at his tummy and then the author decided to remove this because she didn't want you to fall asleep. Isn't she nice?

Then Amberpaw took a tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny piece of catmint and ate it. Then her eyes lit up. Litterelly, they turned into neon lights.

"CRAZYCRAZYCRAZYCRAZYCAZYCRAZY!" she yelled, so loudly that the whole clan woke up, yelled back at her, and went back to sleep again. Except..well you get it, don't you?

Then Amberpaw ate the rest of the catmint, and promptly ran round the world 78214634638264839294302649204394032749836389265389625938658329439 times, ate another piece of catmint, and ran round the world 648932649174029472864826419082094710642891462810946219472846094610048107410473 more times.

And through all this, Cloudtail was still hungry.

Duh.


	2. Brainwashed

**Yo peeps, this is a challenge for Rainclan, enjoy!**

I opened my eyes and let them travel round the den. No other kits were there, but I could see my older sister Cherrykit's tail poking in. Judging by the voices, I guessed she was chatting to Foxkit, my other elder sister, and Rainkit, the tom she won't stop mooning over.

I trotted over to them, as fast as my little legs could. I'm the smallest in my litter. Foxkit was born first, Cherrykit heartbeats later, but then my mother, Roseflower, had a problem, and I came out much later, small and weak. I've been taunted about it by many others, and sometimes the elder warriors whisper about me. The apprentices always show Cherrykit and Foxkit battle moves, but never me.

"Hi guys!" I meowed in my cheerful chirpy voice.

They instantly stopped.

"You wanna play battle?" I asked.

Rainkit opened his mouth to say yes, when Cherrykit muttered to him "He's too small!"

Foxkit glared at Cherrykit, and said "Why don't you visit the elders den for a story? We were just going to get some prey."

Oh yeah. That too. _They_ can eat proper prey now, but _I_ have to wait.

"It's cause I'm small. I know. Next time, don't bother asking. Don't try and keep it a secret. My life was never supposed to be good. If it was, Starcan would have made me bigger. You go and do all the big kid stuff. Bye." I trudged away, not caring about the shocked looks on their faces. _Who cares? I can't hunt, I can't ever become leader!_

"Yes you can."

I whipped around. A brown tom sat behind me, casually licking his paw.

I opened my mouth to say there was an intruder, but he smirked.

"Only you can see me. Listen Redkit, I can offer you a brilliant life. You can be a leader with cats bowing down to you. Cherrykit and Foxkit will be sorry they never played with you. All you have to do is accept."

 _Accept? Is that all? Of course I'll accept! Does this cat think I'm dumb?_

"I accept."

The cat grinned, showing me his yellow fangs stained with blood. I didn't care about that. I didn't care about his red claws. I just felt...sleepy.

* * *

I woke up. Rainclaw was trembling as he brought me the fattest rabbit he could find for me to eat. Cherrysong and Foxbreeze and many others were bowing towards me, asking for permission to eat. I thought I was called Redstar because of my orange pelt. Now I think it's because of my claws stained with blood. The red liquid of cats who disobeyed me. _My family._

I don't understand what happened. I used to be Redkit, the cat taunted for his size. Now I'm Redstar, the cat who killed many others. And he, my master, was Tigerscar, the cat who made Forestclan become extict.

 _I've been brainwashed. And I can't go back._

 **You like? Oui? No?**


	3. A promise I couldn't keep

**Hi peeps! This is my first challenge for Crystalclan. The topic was rivals. Let's go. I have no idea where this is headed. Ah well.**

Yewpaw smiled as she chased Acornpaw up the tree. Starting to get her webbed paws onto the dry bark, she tripped and fell flat on her face. Acornpaw stopped and said.

"Told you Riverclan cats can't climb!"

"Ah yeah! Well you can't swim!"

"Fish-face!"

"Squirrelbreath!"

Yewpaw approached the tree again. Acornpaw sighed and dropped down further.

"Here. Put your foot on this branch. Then...yes! That's it!"

Yewpaw nervously scrambled up to the top where Acornpaw was sitting. She sat down next to him.

"Yewpaw, you will always be my friend. Right?"

"Yes."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

 _10 moons later._

"Um...Yewstripe?"

"Yes Pinefrost?"

"Um..can we go hunting?"

"Sure!" Yewstripe nuzzled her best friend.

"Okay."

Pinefrost and Yewstripe walked out of camp, into the silver light of the moon. Roselily, who was guarding the camp that night, eyed them both and grinned. Yewstripe ducked her head. Was her love for Pinefrost that obvious?

As soon as they were out of earshot, Pinefrost cleared his throat.

"Yewstripe, before we go hunting, I need to ask you something."

"Yes."

"Well...I've always admired you as a friend, fellow apprentice and warrior. And, well, that admiration has turned into love. Yewstripe, will you be my mate?"

"Yes Pinefrost. I love you too."

"Traitor!" A ginger tabby tom leapt out of the shadows.

"Acornpaw!" Yewstripe gasped.

"Acornheart!" he snarled, pinning her down.

"But we're friends!"

"No, Yewstripe. You promised we were friends. You made a promise you could not keep. I'll let you go. But listen. _You_ made a promise you couldn't keep. And now we are not friends. We are rivals." he hissed, before vanishing into the darkness.

 _A promise I couldn't keep. A promise I couldn't keep._


	4. Why we don't give Firestar waffles

**Hi guys! Here is Blaze with another one-shot. It's another spoof one, so beware.**

Why we don't give Firestar waffles.

Firestar was having a normal day. Well, if you call asking Spottedleaf 'What does this prophecy mean?' 643721486478347326437268321782478236478271481694 times, then yes, he was having a normal day.

Meanwhile, Greystripe was on a hunting patrol with Dustpelt and Thornclaw. Well of course he was on a hunting patrol with Dustpelt and Thornclaw. Duh.

Greystripe, as you should know, was once a kittypet. Don't tell him I said that. He prefers the term Mr. Stripey Grey thing of Awesomeness and Silverstreamness.

Anywhoo, he found some waffles. Now he thought _I know, I'll give Firestar a waffle!_ See, he was trying to lose some weight, as he felt rather fat. By the end of this season, he hopes to weigh 46372647632764736.999999 kg, instead of 4672657632764737 kg. That's right, he's trying to lose a whopping 0.000001 kg.

So he snuck off without Dustpelt and Spiderleg. Well, of course he snuck off without Dustpelt and Spiderleg. Duh.

He went into Shadowclan territory, made some dirt, went into Riverclan territory, kissed Silverstream, went to Windclan territory, talked to Onestar about boring territory business, and then he went to Skyclan to catch up on Leafstar and co.

One year later, he returned to Thunderclan, and dropped the out-of-date waffle at Firestar's feet. Then he said:

"Oh Mr. Starry thing of Fireness and Awesomenez with a z because we can't spell, I have brought you a waffle.'

Firestar looked at the waffle, then at Greystripe, then at the waffle, then at Greystripe, then at the waffle, then at Greystripe, and then Blaze decided that this was Amberpaw and Finchpaw 2.0, and removed it. She's so nice. As are cupcakes. Now only £2.99! While stocks last.

Then Firestar screamed so loudly that Brook Where Small Fish Swim woke up, ran over from the tribe to Thunderclan, shouted at Firestar, and ran back. That is why she doesn't like Thunderclan.

Then his eyes turned red, then blue, then magenta, then pink, then purple, then white, then black, then yellow, then green again, and then he passed out.

So Greystripe shrugged and forgot about his diet, and ate the waffle. Of course he shrugged and forgot about his diet and ate the waffle.

Duh.

 **Okay! I hoped you liked it! Remember to review, and the next one will be up soon!**


	5. Tigerclaw's battle

"Riverclan attack!"

"Thunderclan attack!"

I spring into battle obeying my deputy. Not for long! I smirked inwardly, while slashing a random cat's ear...wait was that Dappletail? Oh no, it was Mossyleaf. Some Riverclan cat. That's fine. Not that I would mind slashing Dappletail's ear. Alright, if she's the enemy, let's look like I actually care. Hm...belly and left foot. Good. She's gone. Hang on, this younger cat's launched himself at me. Idiot. Does he not know who I am. While he's in mid air, I spring and snatch him like he was nothing but a thrush trying to escape. I pin him down, claw his back, release him and return to battle.

What is this battle for anyway? Oh yeah. Territory. Well, that won't happen in a couple moons. By then, I'll be Tigerstar, leader of all four clans, combined to make Tigerclan, a clan with only pure, strong cats. Half-blood, rouges, kittypets, and loners will be banished or killed, and the weakest will be left to fend for themselves.

Anyway, back to battle. Goodbye Sunnysplash, ooh, that's a nasty scratch. Courtesy of Tigerclaw. Oh, what's that Reedpaw? Aw..looks like Tigerclaw got you. Vinepool? Tigerclaw.

Soon there's only a few cats left. Perfect. Two Riverclan warriors, the deputy, Oaksomething, Ravenpaw, Redtail and I. Redtail traps Oakheart under some rocks, and is about to let him go, when the rocks rumble. Redtail leaps out of the way, but Oakheart, the flat-footed fool, is crushed. Upon the death of his deputy, the warriors gape, turn tails, and run. I send Ravenpaw back to camp. As soon as he's gone, Redtail turns around.

"Nice fighting Tigerclaw! You'd make a great deputy."

"Oh, but I am the deputy."

"No..wait what do you mean?"

"Say goodbye Redtail." I calmly lick a paw. "Because Tiger _star's_ here." I spring at him, pin him down and clasp his neck in my teeth. Just to make sure, I slit his neck too. Then I roll him in laurel leaf, pick him up and carry him back to camp, when I hear a gasp, and a white tail tip waver and disappear into a bush.

 _Ravenpaw! No! You'll pay.._

 **Okay remember the whole priority list in ASC? Well, screw that. I shall update them when I like, but hey, feel free to PM to get of my ass, I need more of that.**


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